Poor baby...

Omar slept in this morning, probably a result of his ordeal yesterday... I left the tent to take care of the things I do on Tuesdays.

When I got back, Omar was up and watching cartoons.  I went over and turned off the tube and asked "Are you going to explain about yesterday's adventure???", he then said " I was picked up by the FBI and they questioned me about my activities...", I asked him " and what exactly did you tell the FBI?".  He mumbled something and then said "I tell them that I do nothing but keep up the tent and do things for you!". 

I then said to him "Why in the world would the 'Federal Bureau of Investigations' want to talk to you??" He quickly stood and shook his crooked little finger at me and says "NO !!! not 'Federal Bureau of Investigation, "Full Blooded Italians".... "Oh for craps sake I said, what in the world did they want?"

He tells me that they thought he had taken some silk hankerchiefs from the local Italian restaurant... So I asked him "where in the world did they get that idea??" he told me that he and Achmed had gone there for dinner one time when Achmed was visiting (before I threw him out of the tent) and that Achmed had filched a couple of them from the waiter".

I don't know where this will all end but for now I have a headache and Omar has a sore behind...

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Upon return...

I got back from deliveries to discover Omar had returned from who knows where... funny looking too, he had some bandaids attached to his beard or what was left of it.  

I asked where he had gone and he said that he went out to check the mail yesterday and somebody in a big black car pulled up and opened the door and pulled him inside...  He said that they (whomever that might be) pulled a black bag over his head so he couldn't see where he was going...

He said he tried to get loose but they grabbed him someplace south of the border and he lost all desire to fight... I can only imagine.  He then said "I need to nap" and with that he trudged off... I am sure more will be revealed later.

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An Empty Tent...

When I returned to the tent from the morning coffee get together, I was greeted with an empty place.  I looked around for a note, but none was to be found.  It is unusual when Omar just disappears with no warning or indications.

I will go about the day and hopefully he will appear with some tale of woe or excitement depending on what he got involved with.

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Evidence abundant...

After rising this morning, I went into the throne room to take care of business and happened to glance at the sink... little grey clippings were all over the place and a couple drops of what suspiciously appeared to be blood...

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"Christmas Day" excitement abounds...

Yesterday after I got back from finding some coffee, Omar was up and about and jumping around in abstract anticipation of the 'gift opening' that surely would follow.

I gave him his present, and in no time he had literally shredded the wrapping paper and was holding the box in which his gift resided...

He looked at me and eagerly tore open the box to reveal the gift... inside he found a dainty pair of scissors and a little comb and a nifty little brush.  He looked at them then at me, rather quizzically I must say.  I told him "It's a grooming kit for your beard..."  He said to me "but I am not getting married", I responded "No, Omar, not that kind of groom".  It took a bit of work but finally he understood what it was for.

He quickly scampered under the tree and returned with the 'gift' he had wrapped for me... upon closer examination I realized that Omar had no idea of how much tape to use to wrap a gift... let alone the fact that it was 'duct' tape.

My thought is that he used at least a full roll of that sticky stuff... He started to shout "Open it, Open it, Open my gift to you!!!".  I started to peel off the tape.  Almost an hour it took me to unwrap the gift, I was really tuckered out with all the effort.

Once I finally got down to the actual gift, I tore off the paper and what should I find... The single largest hair ball ever encountered by modern man... Needless to say I was taken aback... I asked Omar, "What exactly am I supposed to do with this???" He told me "It is a kit"... I says to him, "a kit to do what??" He tells me "to make a mohair sweater..." I was speechless, a condition I am not accustomed to.  

After a few moments to compose myself I told him "Thank you, Omar, that is very considerate of you".  With that, our Christmas gift session came to a close and I was left to wonder what might come next... after all, my birthday approaches soon and I don't know that I want him to know about it...

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Christmas morning...

Christmas has made it's appearance... As I entered the main room of the tent this morning, it was a site to behold.  Under the tree what do I find but a little old Arab curled up in a tight little ball with a trail of cookie crumbs leading to the empty plate and a half full glass of warm milk...

I tippy toed over to him and peered at his semi cherub little whisker laden face and he looked... now mind you I say he looked pretty innocent (we all know that Omar is anything except innocent).

Looking down at him, I decided to let him sleep a little more and I snuck out of the tent to go search for a hot cup of coffee... The village, for the most part, looked deserted.  

I did manage to find an open 7-11 though.  After offering my condolences for them having to work on this most special holiday, I paid for my coffee and drove around to see if there were other unfortunate souls that were pressed into labor this day.  Shari's is open (now doesn't that just figure???).

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"


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... where did yesterday go??

Omar was up bright and early this morning and jumping up and down and screeching like a barn owl in labor.

I peered outside the tent and to my surprise the ground had disappeared and in its place was a soft blanket of snow... at least that explained the activities of the Arab.

Yesterday was a wash here at the tent, nothing neato happening here in the Oasis so there was really nothing to write about...

Omar has been pretty curious about the packages under the tree/bush/imaginary thingy.  As with many things in this blog, imagination is used to the extreme.  

There appears to be a large and rather interestingly wrapped present looming in the forefront and when I get too close to it Omar sets off a racket so I've kept my distance... Curious though...

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A certain 'serenity' exists today...

Omar has been oddly subtle this morning, no boisterous outbreaks or shrieking whilst running around the perimeter of the tent and no blasphemous outbursts.

I sense that he knows the importance of the upcoming Season... perhaps he is playing his cards close to his heart in the hopes of a bountiful holiday... one never knows with this devious little guy.

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Keeping the score even...

Well, Omar is giddy this morning, I let him watch "The Christmas Story" last night and he was just enthralled with the BB gun and how it could destroy things... 

This worries me as he tends to act without forethought sometimes and that has often had disastrous results.

I did ask him what his plans were for the day and he responded "I think perhaps I will wrap up your 'big surprise'"  I still get shivers when I think of what that might be...

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Absolutely freakin amazing...

You won't believe it... I don't even believe it !!  Omar got the last of the three good deeds accomplished in my absence (while at coffee)...

Somehow, he managed to find a snow shovel and shoveled the driveway to the tent... completely clear of snow.  I am so very impressed and pissed off.

He managed to shovel all the snow off the drive way ok, now it is an impenetrable snowbank in front of the driveway but on the street... No way can I drive over that thing...  I am giving him credit though - not for his intelligence, but at least for the effort expended.

Sorta reminds me when the kids were young and wanting to do something special to surprise Mom and Dad and in the process make this huge freakin mess in the process... that is one of the moments when you hug them and silently wonder why you had kids...

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Smilin and beguiling ...

As I sometimes do, this morning I did a quick assessment of the tent with the sublime intention of finding something useful for Omar to accomplish today. 

He appeared from under some somewhat odd smelling covers to ask me what it was that I was doing.  I told him that in preparation of the upcoming holidays I wanted the tent to be in as good a condition as was plausible given that you can only do so much with canvas and sand.

As I was peering into his gruffy little face, I noticed the fact that his eyes had taken on an abnormal sheen, that prompted me to ask him what was he thinking about... He said "I have a big surprise for you from Santa"... I thought for a moment, and in a well kindled moment of fear, asked him "just what might that be?"

He snickered a bit and gave me this gleeming little smirk and said "It will be for you to find out".  As it was, I had things to get done so didn't pursue the issue at the moment.

Any clues?? ideas??? suggestions even would be handy as I have a feeling that doom is in the near future...

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I don't like it here...

Well, that is what came galloping out of the jowls of Omar this morning as he tippy toed across the tent floor and peered out the window.

I asked him where he thought he might rather be and quickly he told me that "any place warmer then here would be fine"... I offered up a couple suggestions for him but he failed to see the humor.

No good deed #3 yet so I will see how the rest of the day fares for him.  And me...

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Camels, Stallions, Horses... what the heck??

Omar has been pacing around the tent now for about an hour.  I have tried to ignore his muttering and pacing but it's gotten to the point of unavoidable annoyance.

He has been this way since I clobbered him with a snowball when he went out to feed the livestock.  He was pretty hesitant to go out in the snow as he's never seen it before... I got him good too, knocked off his turban and when he bent over to pick it up I nailed him in the caboose.

I am pretty sure that the last of the three 'good deeds' will be awhile in appearing now.

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Fear... what controls you???

I goofed up yesterday, I had taken out the vacuum cleaner to clean up a little mess on the tent floor and forgot to put it away... it was sitting near the tunnel that leads to the dungeon (where Omar lives).  

I didn't think about it all day yesterday and wouldn't have thought of it this day except I kept hearing this squeaky little voice and when I finally located it, it was Omar... he was begging me to move the monster so he could use the bathroom...

It is my thought that the episode with the whiskers is ever present in his demented little mind... Actually I felt bad not realizing that leaving the vacuum there would block his passage.

Heaven only knows how he managed to keep his drawers clean... he must have been in the bathroom for nearly an hour.  

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2nd nice thing...

This morning after I returned to the tent, I found, on my easy chair, a pile of laundry... it was clean and I believe it was supposed to be folded, although it would appear that Omar was taught a far different method of folding clothes or perhaps none at all.

Either way, it was the effort expended that garnered him one more check mark on the good side.  If he can make one more then Santa will not put the lump of coal in his stocking.  I will speak to him later today about his efforts to appease the lord of christmas gifts.

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One out of three... I think.

Well, when I got up this morning there was a cup of tea and a cookie on a plate waiting for me beside my chair.  

I guess that Omar wants credit for '1' good deed.  At least the lad is trying and that is a good thing... two to go.


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The Mystic mystery of Santa...

Omar was buzzing around the tent this morning when I returned with Ralphy.  They both seemed happy to see each other and of course that made me feel good too.  

You see, Omar and Ralphy share the same bed which is kinda cute because Omar, being of diminutive size, seems to fit in the doggy bed just as well as Ralphy does.

As I was making my hot chocolate, Omar asked me "Who is this 'Santa' guy and why does he always go 'Ho, Ho, Ho'??, is it because he has a harem and is rounding up the women...??" , I choked on my hot chocolate and after a brief coughing spell I told him that Santa delivers toys to all the good children...

Omar thought for a moment then asked me "Well, does he deliver to good little Arab's too?"..  I pondered this for a moment then told him "There are no good little Arabs that I know of".  He quickly replied "I am a good little Arab aren't I?".

I told him that "Santa will likely be putting a lump of Coal in your stocking this year because of all the turmoil you caused here in the tent".  

He shuffled his slippers on the tent floor and had a pretty forlorn look on his face so I told him "if you could do 3 good deeds before Christmas, Santa might reconsider".  He gleefully jumped for joy, spilled my hot chocolate all over the floor and ran over to share the good news with Ralphy who until that moment had been soundly asleep.

I told him he needed to clean up the mess so he headed off to the cleaning supply closet to get some rags.

I am a little worried about what 3 good deeds Omar will come up with... I shall keep a wary eye on him.

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Odd, I didn't know that it could...

How very strange... I was chatting with Omar this morning and happened to notice that his beard is no longer wrapped in bandages.  That wasn't the odd part really, upon closer inspection, it actually appeared that his beard had black and blue marks on it.  Perhaps it was an illusion.

I don't know what plans the little Arab has for the day, he didn't volunteer any information and I didn't press the issue...

The thought of asking him to vacuum again passed without me acting on it, I did have to giggle though.


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Tender, oh so tender...

Omar is keeping a low profile today.  He has his beard wrapped in a bandage today as though the whiskers need to heal from their traumatic experience yesterday.  He really hasn't said much today, mumbled something about his jaw hurting... I can only imagine.


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The attack of "Kirby"...

As I was getting ready to leave the tent this morning, I gave Omar instructions that I wanted him to vacuum the tent floor as his traipsing in and out had made quite a mess of things... He nodded that he would accomplish this mundane task in my absence so I left.

After having a few cups of McDonalds worst coffee I decided it was time to return to the tent and see about the progress that Omar was making.  

As I got out of the car, I detected an odor like burning trash and noticed some slight tendrils of smoke coming from around the tent flap.

As I approached the flap I heard this terrible shrieking and humming noise coming from within the tent.  As I quickly entered the tent what should I see but Omar, on the floor, on his back with the smoking vacuum cleaner lying on top of his writhing form and the business end of it covering his turban covered head.  

I quickly went to the wall and unplugged the vacuum and then went over to lift if off Omar's prostrate form.  I couldn't seem to lift it off his face without his head following it so after closer examination, I saw that Omar's beard, or what was left of it seemed to be wrapped around the beater bar of the vacuum.

After a lot of screaching and thrashing around I was able to untangle his beard from the beater bar and finally was able to extricate Omar from the vacuum cleaner.  I sat the vacuum to the side and helped Omar up from the tent floor.  Although definitely worse for wear, his beard or what was left of it was still attached to his wretched face.

I couldn't help feeling sorry for him and after fixing him a hot toddy, I asked him how in the hell did the vacuum cleaner manage to eat half his beard??? He tells me that many times he watched me use the vacuum cleaner and observed how it managed to make the mess on the tent floor disappear and he really wanted to know where the mess went.  

Well, it seems that whilst the vacuum was running, he turned it over and wanted to make a close inspection of the dirt eating part of it... You can imagine the rest... I tell ya, I should write a book about these episodes of his...

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Beastly beauty anyone??

This afternoon, Omar was sitting on the tent floor and going thru some pictures... I asked him what the pictures were of and he said "my girlfriend sent them to me" and then asked if I would mind putting one up for you all to admire...

He showed me the picture and after a few moments of wretching and doing a lousy job of hiding it, I told him sure, I would post it for him... (Giving Omar access to a computer could indeed end up changing the world as we know it today).  

So here it is or she is or something... be sure to post all the flattering comments you can think of as I remain speechless at this time.


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Solitude seems to be the theme today...

It isn't often that I can make it thru a day without Omar causing some unforseen problem for me, but so far today he's kept a pretty low profile.

With any luck, it will remain that way for the rest of the day but then again who knows what lurks in the heart and soul of a demented Arab??


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Achieving an 'altered state'...

Omar has kept a relatively low profile since his experience in the world of electricity.  He seems to avoid the lamp now, I do believe that he's developed a healthy respect for its ability to 'enlighten him'.

When I got back to the tent from delivering meals, he was sitting cross legged on the floor on a little rug and had his hands clasped in his lap and he seemed to be far away...  I asked him what he had been up to in my absence and he pondered for a moment and then he said "I have achieved Divinity"... Now this took me aback as him being a devout Muslim, I didn't think that he would be associating with a certain "Christian religious state..." I pursued an explanation.

How, said I, can you possibly achieve the state of Divinity, when as an Arab, you are so closely associated and deeply rooted in the teachings of the Muslim holy book, the "Koran"??? 

He then slyly pointed to the plate on the counter, the plate that normally held my Christmas candy and which had, when I left this morning, been piled with fresh pieces of divinity fudge... but now was glaringly empty.

I chased him around the tent for the better part of 15 minutes until he sneakily exited the flap... Revenge will be mine....

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A shocking event...

The lamp in the tent had a burned out bulb in it and I had steadfastly managed to ignore that fact until this morning.  Omar was up early, that in itself being a surprise to me and I mentioned to him that the bulb needed to be replace as it was burned out.

I then proceeded to put on my shoes and the next thing I hear this 'pop' and 'sputter' and "Aieyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeee" and look over and there is Omar spazzing out and his eyes were bulging out of his head, the hair was standing strait on end and his skin had taken on a translucent tone so that the bones in his skeleton were semi visible.  I quickly looked at his hand and there for the whole world to see was his finger sticking in the socket where the bulb had been.

I pulled out the plug from the wall and Omar collapsed in a pile on the tent floor... I knew it had to really affect him as it was apparent that he had lost total control of his bladder as he was laying in a puddle of yellow liquid.

After he came to, I asked him what he was thinking, putting his finger in the socket... He tells me that there was something shiny in the bottom of the socket and he was trying to get it out...

Some things are best left alone I told him... After making sure that he was OK, I handed him the mop... Dumb assed arab.


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