Saturday, January 31

The evidence is here...

When I returned to the tent from my coffee time, I went to the bathroom to wash my face and in the sink, I found blood stains (I think) and various lengths of wiry grey hair (I assume to be beard).

My thoughts are that Omar took matters into his own hands regarding the trimming of his beard... by the amount of blood stain, I am assuming that he used the pointy scissors to trim with...

I always worry about him doing these things on his own as his past endeavors have proven to be ill conceived.  I didn't see him but then again that isn't too unusual.

I put some bandaids and antiseptic on the counter with hopes that he will take the hint...

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Friday, January 23

His eyes were the size of saucers...

Funny thing happened on the way to the forum today...  That is the way some comedians have opened their acts...

For me, the humor came in the form of a diminutive Arab with a penchant for the unusual.

Today, when I returned to the tent from my deliveries, Omar wasted no time in approaching me with a request.

He asked me "I would like for you to trim my beard as it has become unruly".  I thought for a moment and then asked him "when would you like me to do this for you??".  

He said "I would like to have it done as soon as you can because it is not good for an Arab of my stature to look so ragged".

I said, "give me just a moment" As I turned and left the tent.  I went to the shed and got a pair of electric hedge clippers and then returned to the tent.

As I entered the tent and Omar saw the hedge clippers, I swear hit eyes quadrupled in size, he lets out this horrible little scream and literally scorched the tent floor as he left the room...

I laughed so hard I pee'd myself and even now as I think of the expression on his face, I have to be careful... I can't wait till he comes back.

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Wednesday, January 21

Curious George... Thats what Omar is...

Omar asked me this morning what 'Daytona' was and why was I so excited.  I told him "its a race of cars and one of the biggest events in Nascar", he asked "what is Nascar"... I told him "A lot like the camel races you had back in Saudi country", he says, "We weren't racing them, we were trying to catch them".  I should have known I suppose.

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Monday, January 19

He's bacccccccckkkkkkk...

Retuning from coffee this morning, I noticed that the tent flap wasn't fastened, I distinctly remember closing it as I left.

Upon entering, who should I see sitting crosslegged in the middle of the tent but my dear friend Omar... I asked him "hey buddy, where ya been and when did ya get back here?", he peered up at me with those large black eyes and scraggly beard and said "I was never gone"...

Well I says "Just where is it that you have been then?", he replied "I was in the dungeon and took a mystical journey".  This of course piqued my curiosity and I said "where exactly did this journey take you Omar??".

He said "to the land of 70 virgins", I coughed and almost choked on that one and then replied "there is no land of 70 virgins...", he tells me then "but that is what we were promised by Allah..".  I said "perhaps 70 virginians will be waiting for you?" 

He said, "No, they were virgins I am pretty sure".  Of course I could have debated this to no end but there was no purpose.

I asked him is he was going to still keep studying and pursuing his graduation from Grade School.  He said "I will study hard because I want to get my diploma before 'Achmed' comes again..." Needless to say, my blood started to run cold and my chest tightened a bit with that revelation.

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Saturday, January 17

Omar called...

Omar called this morning, I don't know who's phone he used, and told me that he is on the way back to the tent...I am not too sure when to expect him, but it will be interesting to hear of his adventures.

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Monday, January 12

A 'Sabbatical'...

Omar told me that he is preparing to take a Sabbatical which will allow him to recommit to his Muslim religion.  I asked him "How long you plan on being gone??".  

He said "I am not sure, sometimes it is short and other times shorter"... not sure what he meant, but if there isn't a new post for a bit, you will know that he's not back yet...

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Sunday, January 11

Not so Holy is the day...

Coffee was good, so was the half order of B & G.

Omar was busy reading the books again so I left his to his own devices... that could be a mistake.

Sundays remain a day for each of us to undertake whatever we individually choose to do so it appears that this day will remain quiet and hopefully uneventful.

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Saturday, January 10

Awwwww shucks...

Yesterday, after returning to the tent from various commitments, Omar was beside himself and quickly let me know that he was expecting me earlier and that he had something for me.

I sat down and he got the little box that was so neatly wrapped in color comics and handed it to me.

Gingerly would describe the method I used to unwrap this little gift from him.

Inside, I found a lock of hair, a little rubber ball and a small piece of paper with some arabic written on it.

I explained to Omar that arabic was not a language that I was able to read so he told me, it says "Everlasting greatness to the caretaker of my camel".  I smiled, gently, and thanked him... then I had to know about the 'lock of hair and the little rubber ball.'

He snickered a little bit and said to me "they were Achmed's".  Now I am both alarmed and amused and wonder just what part they played in Achmed's life...

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Thursday, January 8

Tis but a moment in time

Omar was absent this morning when I rose, I did call for him but alas, no answer...

Upon return to the tent I found a little box neatly (for Omar anyway) wrapped in a joyous piece of the Sunday color comics.

I asked Omar "whats the box for dude?"... He said, "Bossman has a birthday comin"..  I thought how nice that he should remember.  

Knowing that his financial condition is much like our national economy, in the tank, I wonder what he managed to conjure up for the "bossman"... time will tell.

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Wednesday, January 7

Quiet in there !!!

Omar was banging on a pot with a wooden spoon and jabbering in Arabic when I got home so I told him to hold down the racket...

He came out and started looking under chairs and tables and the couch and I asked him what in the world he was looking for...

So he says "If I can find that 'racket' I will sit on it for you"... (ya gotta love a guy like that...)

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Tuesday, January 6

Edimication is goot...

Omar has impressed me by really getting into the books I lent him.  He hasn't asked much in the way of guidance and seems content to look at the pictures and mumble to himself and from time to time exalt a loud "Ah Haaaa" or some other phrase that baffles me...

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Monday, January 5

Study, study my little friend...

Omar was on the floor of the tent when I got back this morning, I had gotten him some kids books to help him get a better grasp of english.  He was working his way thru them.  

I asked him "do you need some help??", he said "no, I think it is OK and I am learning more about Jack and Jill...", I almost snickered but managed to suppress it.

We will keep you posted on his progress in this, his latest endeavor...

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Sunday, January 4

Adventures of the mind...

Omar declared this morning that he wants to go back to school and get his gradeschool diploma.  I told him that I though that was a good beginning and then asked what he ultimately wanted to accomplish academically.

He paused for a moment, scratched his chin and smiled and said "I have decided that I want to be a leader...", this of course made me wonder a little bit about who or what he might lead...

Given Omar's background and demonstrated lack of common sense, I get the impression that his idea of leading may not fall in line with what is generally accepted as 'leadership'.   We shall see I guess.

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Friday, January 2

A "Good" morning for me...


Ah, what can I say... Omar greeted me with smiles galore dancing a little jig and generally in a grand mood.

I was so pleased, I asked him "to what do we owe this period of joviality and happiness?".  He replied "I was so happy that I was here when I woke up this morning !!", suppressing an episode of insane laughter I managed to reply "well, that certainly is nice"... 

Omar looked at me rather quizzically and said "I had a dream and in the dream I was captured again by the 'FBI' only this time they made me make Pizza... a really big pizza too."

I chuckled and asked him what was so terrible about making pizza??  He said "I..." then went silent... No matter I thought and then wondered what in the world could cause this reaction to making pizza??  I will press the issue later.

As he was standing there, I got out the cobweb catcher and handed it to him and said "Time for you to gather the lunch"... he grimaced and took it... It's a private joke, you'd have to be Arab to understand.

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Thursday, January 1

The last of the dregs of 2008

Omar was up when I left the tent today for coffee... he didn't have much to say, although it appeared that he was doing a little more serious praying today...

When I returned to the tent just before midnight, Omar was no where to be seen, but I heard him... after searching the tent high and low I found him hovered under my cot and curled up in a ball...

He was whining and shaking and I asked him "what in the world is wrong..."  He said "IT'S THE END OF TIME, WE WILL ALL DIE"... Of course I was concerned and asked him "why will we all die?"... he replied to me "It is ended, there is no more of 2008 !!! we will perish."

I told him "No Omar, we won't perish, it just means that we will start a new year and it will be 2009".  He says to me "you mean we will still live tomorrow?", I said "barring any catastrophic events, the sun will rise in the sky, you will wake up grumpy and I will go to coffee".  He seemed sated by that explanation so I left him. 

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